Dealing with dating uncertainty
Ever been in that beginning phase of a blooming relationship and started obsessing about the outcome? Jack and I had dated for about six months before I started to feel like things between us were seriously cooling off. In the beginning, things had been pretty hot and heavy, with what felt like a fiery mutual interest between us. I began acting cold and aloof. I stopped calling and sending cute text messages.
Does fear of uncertainty get the better of you?
If you gauge the potential of a relationship based on certainty, you would not get past the dating stage. Every person you date is not only getting to know their dates, they also get to know themselves and the relationship in the process. I have nothing to lose anyway. You question yourself. These questions haunt you and will be detrimental to your self-esteem. Unless you manage your expectations and do something about your relationship, these toxic thoughts lead you to a downward spiral.
You start to believe you are not deserving of the kind of love you want, so in effect, you just accept the things given to you. You might not be aware of it. You are slowly trapped—a trap firmly meshed using your low self-esteem. This is very hard to cure. We accept the love we deserve: If you lost your job, should you expect the other person to pay for your bills? The lack of certainty in a relationship is beneficial only to the one who wants a carefree life.
They get to enjoy the good times but bail out on the bad. You might get knocked up, and then what? To some of us, we find it challenging the person we adore is hard-to-get and unpredictable. They are hot one minute then extremely cold the next. It drives us crazy but we love it! We are then on a mission to make the other person fall head over heels in love with us. Once all the chasing and drama ends, we might not like the person after all.
If the uncertainty prolongs, the chase prolongs, too, thus delaying the time we get to know the person on a deeper level. Imagine if you realize this after you had your wedding. That would be one big, expensive, life-changing whoops for you. This limits your chances of meeting other eligible life partners because they are too scared to approach you knowing you are with someone.
Imagine the regret if you say no to a person you truly adore just to stick to an uncertain relationship that eventually ends. Right person, wrong time? The key to timing it all right ]. Being in an uncertain relationship makes us feel lonely, tired, and generally unhappy. You get giddy reading her sweet poems for you but when you see her talking to her ex, you feel the need to punch a wall. Having uncertainty in a relationship makes you emotionally stressed and unstable.
If you feel insecure in your relationship for more than a year, it greatly affects your body as well as your mind. Either do a lot of meditation or confront the issues. How to tell if your flirtationship is heading nowhere ]. You want a wedding, three kids, and a nice beach house, but your partner cringes every time you talk about it. We all have plans, yet when you are in an uncertain relationship, they became part of our lives.
We accommodate them fully to the point we tweaked our life plans. We integrate our life plans with their life plans because, of course, we want to be together with them in the future. However, if the relationship is uncertain, our life plans become uncertain, too. Optimism and unconditional love are wonderful traits. Yes, you read that right. Tell your partner what you really want. You should get your answers and be level-headed in dealing it.
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Relationship uncertainty is a normal and exciting part of a relationship—sometimes. The key to timing it all right ] 5 Chronic stress. How to tell if your flirtationship is heading nowhere ] 6 Your life plans become uncertain too. Team LovePanky Flirt. Fall in Love. Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships Don't Miss this! What Is Casual Dating? Pin It Tweet Share.
So, for many people, if not most people, dating relationships are experienced as A big part of dealing with the fear that a desired person or. We all have the need for certainty, but its in the uncertainty of love that we find What's the best way for learning how to deal with uncertainty in this area of our.
Try these: But relationships? Sadly, it is this uncertainty that causes many of us to put up walls and push others away.
In three weeks, my boyfriend and I might move from the Bay area to LA, or we might move in here with roommates if he decides not pursue a film career.
Post love quotes or your couple photos. Uncertainty makes up most of our life.
How to Deal With Uncertain Relationships
Knowing how to deal with uncertainty in a relationship will allow an individual to relieve both emotional and physical stress. Various factors, such as upcoming lifestyle changes or a change in your partner's attitude, may lead to uncertainty within a relationship. The tension caused by these factors may lead to an unhealthy level of stress being exerted on both parties. By properly gathering your thoughts, calming yourself, and communicating with your partner, you can deal with uncertain relationships. Understand that no one is to blame for the uncertainty and problems within your relationship.
Dealing with Uncertainty in Relationships
Anna Podcast Dating , Relationships , Uncertainty 0. Also how to cope with the uncertainty if you are the one facing a partner who seems to be pulling away. During these times, the one pulling away is typically evaluating their ability to adapt to the needs of the other and if it is something they truly want to do. There may be other causes for conflict although this is the most common. Pressure to advance the relationship: In line with conflicts, a pressure to change the status of the relationship can cause uncertainty. While this is certainly more common with men as women seek to move the relationship status from one phase to the next, it is certainly not exclusive to them. While a change in relationship status brings many benefits, it also requires the partner to give up certain freedoms and they need to evaluate what is more important. It is important for those who chronically leave the relationship at this point to evaluate why they do so and determine what will happen if they continue this pattern. While there may be good reasons to have exited previous relationships at this point, one wants to make sure they are not doing it out of fear and really evaluate what would happen if this pattern continues going forward.
Whether you are starting over, just starting to date, or have been dating for years, one thing doesn't seem to change:
Falling in love is awesome. But unfortunately, it isn't always like it is in the movies.
Photo by Stocksy. So, you've been seeing someone for a few weeks and you notice that your new squeeze is behaving differently. You're getting fewer texts; maybe plans are more vague. Naturally, you begin to get anxious. You worry about whether they are still interested in you, or if they just need space. When you're in this uncomfortable situation, what do you do about it? Although it may seem intuitive to talk about this, I'd caution you to think before you act. Bringing something up this early can send a message to your potential mate that you're anxious about your attachment and might be a high-maintenance person who can't handle having space in a relationship. Your plan B might be to comb through the person's social media profiles and check for signs of another person in their life. If any evidence is found, you then spend hours moping about the discovery. The downfall of both of these strategies is that they stem from an inability to deal with uncomfortable feelings. The uncertainty and ambiguity of not knowing where you stand are difficult to handle, and you might think you don't have the capacity to sit back and see what happens next.
The beauty of uncertainty
Recently, I dated someone for a while. It seems to be either one date and never again or several years of monogamy, in my case. I suffer from Fear of Uncertainty. I liked him. And the feeling seemed to be mutual. So far, so normal.
How To Deal With Uncertainty In Love & Dating
If you gauge the potential of a relationship based on certainty, you would not get past the dating stage. Every person you date is not only getting to know their dates, they also get to know themselves and the relationship in the process. I have nothing to lose anyway. You question yourself. These questions haunt you and will be detrimental to your self-esteem.
Stop letting fear of uncertainty hijack your happiness
Started by Serotoninluv , November 14, Posted November 14, edited. I met a gal a few weeks ago online and we seemed to click immediately. Intellectually, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Since then, I deactivated my online dating apps. The connection and emotion seemed so authentic and real. Finding out the truth was really painful.
This Is The Problem With The ‘Uncertainty’ Stage Of Any Relationship
Somewhere in that uncomfortable space between dating and relationships is a black hole of confusion, anxiety and uncertainty. I call this the uncertain phase. So if you find yourself in this position, how do you deal with it? Your email address will not be published. Skip to content. E-mail address. Please enter a valid password.
Anxiety in the Uncertain Relationship: Why You Have It and How to Overcome It
One of the things I like to do as a dating coach is to keep up with the latest research on relationships and dating. So naturally, I like to read the latest studies coming from esteemed peer-reviewed journals such as, er. Esquire Magazine. As Weir puts it: Without any uncertainty or mystery, you end up launching yourself straight to the plateau of a relationship without the build-up.Uncertainty in Relationships - Tony Robbins